RSV sucks!

We are on day 6 of being in the hospital with Sammy. He has RSV, which stands for Respiratory Syncytial Virus... which is a pretty nasty virus to get if you are a baby. It inflames the bronchi and causes large amounts of thick secretions in the chest and nasal cavities. He has been here receiving supportive care (IV fluids, oxygen, suction)... something I need desperately. This has been one of the most heartbreaking and stressful experiences of my life. It just doesn’t seem at all fair for such a tiny little guy to go though something like this. Thank god we aren’t supposed to remember any of the stuff that happens to us at such a young age... but mommies do!!

pretending he is somewhere else

It seems like just a few weeks ago when we were in the hospital with Elliott. Starting to hate the familiarity of this place... though I still can't accept being here. One would think you would get used to it after being here so much. It's hard seeing and hearing all these sick kids. I was so devastated when I knew Sam was to be hospitalized. It was scary thinking how intense this illness can get, and how bad it did get the other night. Horrible having my childs doctor wake us up at 4 in the morning, and looking up to see a team of people surrounding Sammys crib, finding out that he is not doing well, and that he might need to go to the ICU for advanced help because he isn't moving air, and is very dehydrated because he quit eating, and extremely lethargic. What a horribly helpless feeling.

But, it seems we are over the worst, and he is getting better, slowly, and hopefully surely. I am having my doubts tonight. He is a bit restless, and not eating as well as he was this morning. The docs say is doing 100% better, which I find to be a very silly thing to say. If he was, we would be home by now…. But, he is almost completely off oxygen, and they have stopped his fluids since he is eating again. I wonder if he might need them again though. He sounds really good, but is still requiring a bit of suction throughout the day, especially before feedings. In older babies they might allow him to go home on oxygen or go home and make visits back a few times a day for suction, but they can’t risk it with how young he is, so more than likely we will be here another day or two. Really REALLY discouraging,

This has been tough, being away from Elliott so much. I don’t know what I would do without my wonderful mother in law. (Mel, I am not sure how to repay you.. but I know Elliott is such a joy, that being with him is almost payment enough.. hahaha!! ).

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My darling Sam is sleeping peacefully right now. I hope to be soon, though he does need to eat within the next while, so I think I will read, try to keep a positive outlook, and maybe grab a midnight snack in a couple hours.. if I am still up, which I hope I am not, but I know me….

can we go home now?