Hmm. Where to begin? Well, I know the pic above isnt very clear, but its hard to stay in focus when you are laughing. Sam seems to think his oxygen tubes work better if in his mouth. He looks like a little vampire. Think I will be taking him off the O2 tomorrow...So... wow. What a month. What a way to start out. But I guess in a way we should have expected it. It was hell getting this baby in the first place. Hell getting him out into the world.. so why not continue?..lol! His getting sick was absolutely terrifying. I think because of how lucky we feel to finally have another child, and all that we went through to get him, I am a little more than ultra senstive and emotional about what happens to him. I just am so happy he is recovering so quickly. It seems silly that, even though his illness took me deeper into my PPD, his getting over it has helped me get over my issues as well. I am feeling so much better about being a mommy these days.... well, mostly.
happy to be homeBecause enough hasnt been going on, life thought it would throw one more rock into the pile of crap we have been dealing with. We had to put our wonderful loving Bean Beaners (aka Mira) down on Thursday. Well, not that it was a surprise. Beaner had been sick for quite some time now. We had a few days where we had thought it was ' the day'. Her crappy disease was such a mystery, and I kept holding on to the idea that it was just gonna go away....... like it was supposed to. Well, it just got to the point where there was no more justifying her misery. Damn it, though. She was still bright eyed and bushy tailed , well, bushy knob-tailed, the day we did it. She would never allow me to know how miserable she really was, ya know. But it was apparent. How could it not have been ( I wont go into details). Hardest decision I have had to make in a very very long time. It still isnt sitting right, though I know deep down she feels better. I just cant accept it yet. I still see her in the house. I still turn the water on for her...
Beaner - Bag -o -Wiggle - Waggins -- 2001 - 2009Things can only get better from here on out.
2 comments:
I can't even imagine going through what you did with Sam. You are such a brave and strong person Jillian.
And, to loose your kitty on top of it all. WOW.
I'm so glad that Sam is home and better.
Jillian and Ian...I am so glad that little Sam has turned the corner and is getting better. Hopefully he will be 100% soon. Let's hope that the rest of his childhood is so easy-peasy to make up for these hard, hard times.
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